*ammonia....ewwwww.....*

As you all know by now I am putting along on the cloth diaper bandwagon. Its definitely a LOVE HATE relationship for me. I LOVE that its saving diapers from the landfills. I LOVE that I don't have to buy diapers every week. I LOVE that the cashiers at Rite Aid don't see me daily anymore. I LOVE that they are keeping Delilahs ass rash's at bay. And I especially LOVE how freaking cute the cloth diapers are! Ok now for the HATE. I HATE that I cannot find a decent detergent that will keep them from smelling like ammonia the very moment Delilah pees in them. I HATE that I have to wipe her ass and get poo all over me then wash it out in the toilet and spray poo all over me then put it in the wetbag and later when I wash then get ammonia smelling poo on me. I HATE that i cant just throw them away. I HATE that I have to buy special detergents, put lemon juice on them and hang them in the sun to get the poo stains off. I HATE that when you unzip the wetbag to put them in the dryer you start to cry not because of how you are saving our planet one disposable diaper at a time, but because you are bombarded with that ammonia smell, AGAIN!

Ok as you can tell Im having a bit of an issue with this whole cloth thing. I really don't mind it and I feel good about doing it. I think its better for Delilah and better for everyone that lives near a landfill but the detergent roulette that I have been playing lately is getting old very quickly. I NEVER knew there were so many damn rules to cloth diapering. 1. you have to use 1/4 less detergent than recommend 2. you cannot use any detergent with any enzymes or brighteners 3. no dryer sheets 4. you have to "strip" your diapers when they start to smell like ammonia 5. you strip your diapers by boiling them in hot water for 10 min then put lemon juice on the poop stains then hang them in the sun for the day then wash them on cold without detergent then wash them on HOT with detergent following rule #1, then do an extra rinse on cold with no detergent then finally do an extra extra rinse on warm with no detergent then put right into the dryer on HOT without a dryer sheet. *phew* Then don't forget that the grobaby shells cannot be dried but the gdiapers can but the gdiaper liners cannot and the bumgenius can but have to be turned inside out. Serious!???!!!  I honestly feel like i should have to go through cloth diaper boot camp before I'm allowed to use them. Its freaking crazy! And don't get me started on buying them..... for instance the pictured "Blueberry Deluxe Snap Diaper in Minky Lemon Lime" retails for $32.97!!!!! $32.97 for ONE DIAPER!!!! Now you can see where I get a little crazy. One diaper is nothing....to fully cloth diaper you need about 20 shells, 30+ inserts, cloth wipes (because why use regular wipes when your getting shit on your hands anyway!) cloth wipes solution (made up of coconut oil, California baby butt wash, little stinker butt spray, vinegar, water and a few drops of lavender essential oils) a wet bag for your diaper bag (that will hold 3-5 dirty diapers) a wet bag for home (that will hold about 2-3 days worth or 20ish diapers) special detergent (like rockin green { http://www.rockingreensoap.com/ }) dryer balls (to help dry the cloth diapers quicker) lemon juice to get poop stains out, a dryer rack for outside or a clothes line and clothes pins (which are a lot harder to find then you may think) and parents who are willing to be elbow high in shit all day long. So far this has come to upwards of $300+...and I've bought most of my diapers USED for 1/2 to a 1/4 of the "retail price" so not only do i get more for my money but I also get the fun and daunting task of removing other kids poop stains :) See how wonderful cloth diapering is?

Ok now to be serious... I really do enjoy it and I think it is a lot better for Delilahs skin. I'm not sure if many of you have heard or seen articles about the new Pampers with Dry Max but there is actually a few lawsuits being filed as I write this about their new "Dry Max Technology" causing severe rashes and chemical burns on children { http://www.csmonitor.com/Money/new-economy/2010/0514/Pampers-lawsuit-Should-you-join-it } and Proctor and Gamble is trying to blame the parents for keeping the diapers on the child too long. Back in late December I switched from using Huggies Supreme and/or Huggies Pure and Natural to Huggies Snug and Dry....ya know the kind sold at Costco?! Well we were about 8 diapers into the pack when Delilah started to get the most strange rash. We attributed it to a food allergy and continued on. The rash started spreading in her diaper area and was small red dots on top of very red and raw skin. Working in the medical field, especially pediatrics I was used to seeing diaper rashes and thought this was just a run of the mill yeast infection so i treated it accordingly. The rash did not improve and instead the next day had open sores so we took her to the doctor. It was determined she did have a slight yeast infection but that the main rash was due to a staph infection and we needed to apply a topical antibiotic cream. We did the cream and it just continued. It was horrible to see her in so much pain and she was practically ripping her diaper off all the time. We went back to the doctor 3 days later and they tested it for MRSA (a form of antibiotic resistant staph) and she was put on oral antibiotics as well as a stronger antibiotic/antifungal cream. This still was not improving so I got the number off the Huggies package and called them. They told me that they had recently changed the chemical makeup in the Snug and Dry to "hold more" and keep the baby "dryer" then before and my baby must just have sensitive skin and should use the Pure and Natural. They sent me a few coupons for free packages and I immediately got the Pure and Natural. Guess what...NO CHANGE. This rash was going on 2 weeks and she didn't have much skin left so in desperation we tried 7th Generation and it FINALLY started to get better. After about a month on the 7th Generation she started to react to that brand too so we were forced into using cloth. And to be 100% honest I thank God that we were because with as sensitive as her skin is if we were to use the free samples I got in the mail of the Pampers I cant imagine what would have happened to her poor bottom. Its funny how life works sometimes. It throws you curve balls when you least expect them and don't understand why you of all people got the curve ball instead of the good ol' fast ball until one day when you read an article about hundreds of kids getting chemical burns from diapers. Then it hits you like the fast ball.

Through everything with Delilah I have learned to trust my gut and my mommy instincts because every time I've followed them I have been right on. When i didn't listen I paid the price. I urge all of you to trust your intuitions, small thoughts or whispers in your ear because they are your angels trying to tell you to trust yourself and you too will be see. You all know by now I am not a hugely spiritual person but lately I cannot deny the voices and thoughts helping me along the way. I think of them as my personal fairies...guiding my way...helping me to avoid the curve balls. They are everywhere outdoors and if you listen yours too are willing to help you. I'm sharing this because of a friend of mine by the name of Erin who has opened my eyes and heart to our surroundings. There is energy in everything in life and we choose to let that energy in our lives, whether good or bad. You can make good things happen. You can make good guided choices. You just have to trust in and listen to yourself. If an answer is what you are looking for look inside you for most of the time you hold the answer all along.